My Dream.
When I was young, I saw an article about glasses which give vague sight to blinds. After reading that article, I started to think that if I can make the machine that helps handicapped, my life will be worthful life. After reading the article, I decided my major as neuro-engineering, and my dream as being machine inventor. I want to make the machine that can read human brain’s signal so that people can order machine without touching display, and even speaking to devices.
Technical Writing’s Role in My Future Career.
Technical writing will be definitely helpful in my future occupation. Before giving examples, I want to tell technical writing’s purpose. Purpose of technical is, “giving your readers clear and easy access to information by formatting and using language as related to technical writing” (I copied this definition from,https://courses.candelalearning.com/technicalwriting1xmaster/chapter/message-from-the-instructor-26/). A day ago, I talked with my older brother’s friends, who is trying to get Ph. D. in Korea, with SNS to ask examples of technical writing usage. Here are examples of them.
Engineers need tomake presentation to give information to sponsor to get research funds. Before getting into researching, engineers need to get fund support, and for that, they need to give information to investor. Because or that reason, they need to make their script and presentation as clear as possible for supporter.
Engineers need to write experiment daily record. My brother’s friends described experiment daily record as public diary. They emphasized that experiment daily record need to be wrote for every peers so that peers can understand process. With experiment daily record, engineers can get information from their last research, so they can avoid doing same work, and they also can figure mistakes out .
Choosing my theme with my favorite site.
Actually, I didn’t have much time to decorate my blog because of problems of my cousin’s, who came here right before spring term from Korea, with his bank account and house, so still I need to fix my blog a lot.
I love to go to the website which is called, “Naver Cast.” This website provides not only technology, science and math, but also design, music, cook and so on. I love to use website because they provide pictures and videos, and this website also explain topics step by step so that readers can understand easily. They give relevant posting on right side, so users can find theory, which is used in the current page’s topic. Furthermore, postings are written by professors hence I can believe information from this site.
In design aspect, I love simple design rather than beautiful and wonderful background when I read something. That is why I chose this site as a site of role model.
As I said, I didn’t edit my blog enough. there are lots of things that need to be changed. However, despite I didn’t decorate my blog a lot, I had problems with dealing with my blog, such as posting, finding peer’s blog, and commenting. I overcame those just try anything that I can do. I browsed edublog site to fix problems.
※ My question is do you like my site’s back ground? Is that disturbing you when you read my posting?
Hey J!
I thought you gave some accurate information on the need for technical writing skills in your future career of Neuro-engineering, however, there are a handful of grammatical errors in your two paragraphs. I enjoyed that you pulled in some professional experiences from people that you know from back home. It gives insight to what influenced you to go into engineering. I think that you might have been able to use a different format for the post itself to meet the criteria of the assignment better, such as using bullet points or bold font. I think if you made some of these few adjustments that you’d be on your way to a high grade on this assignment.
Hope these comments are helpful!
~Whitney
Whitney is correct that you need to pay attention to formatting to make the page visually accessible.
Hello,J! It’s nice to see your second posting.I also like the website that has a simple design. Like Whitney mentioned, you have some grammar errors so you might want to look it again and fix them. I know it’s a bit hard to write an organized essay grammatically. And it’s very interesting that you are majoring in Neuro-engineering. I am also very curious what made you getting in the field. Overall, I think you did a nice job and hope you get used to blogging soon and I am looking forward to seeing your next post! Ryu
Hi J,
Your simple blog layout is better than one that is too busy with designs or patterns. Since English is your second language, you do have errors, but I can still understand what messages you are trying to convey. I liked reading about the role of an engineer, it was really interesting! It sounds like technical writing will be very useful to you. One thing I would advise you on is with your images. I like the images you use. When you add the photos to your blog post, check if you are using the largest image size available. You can center the images and make them larger! It would really make the overall layout of your blog a lot more appealing. You are doing great!
-Amanda
Amanda is correct. I left information about this when I responded in a comment to Blog Post #1.
Hi J!
I thought it was really cool how you wrote about what you want to do for your career and how you talked to your family about it. It would be nice to know what exactly you would get to do being a neuro-engineer. You did a good job at describing what you would need to use technical writing for in your career choice and stating what the purpose of technical writing is. My suggestion would be to use a Word document and type out what you are going to say so you could check your grammar. I know that the English language can be tricky when writing. You should also think about adding some information about a website or blog about your career choice. I think that your blog is simply but effective and meets the needs. It would be nice to see a little more color or image to make it more inviting. I hope that these suggestions were helpful!
Hi J,
I really enjoyed the information you presented! Especially, your point about technical writing in regards to obtaining funding for some organizations. I think a lot of people overlook the fact that you may have the best project or idea in the world, but if you cannot present it in a way people can understand then you won’t get that funding.
Like people have said, you have a few grammatical errors but people would be surprised if I told them English was your second language. It is very impressive just how well you write.
I really like the structure of your blog! Simple and easy to read which makes a big difference for me. Your doing great, so just keep doing what you are doing!
-Tyler
J,
All of your peers gave you outstanding feedback that you can act on to improve it.
The concept is that you receive this feedback during the Writing Circle, which closes Friday. Then you have the weekend to revise using that feedback over the weekend before you post to me Sunday night. I’m not really seeing that you’ve “got” that concept yet.
The other concept you may be missing is that I don’t consider revision “optional.” If you had revised Blog Post #1 according to my feedback, then you would have the knowledge to do this one at a higher level.
So I’m mostly repeating what they have already said:
• You definitely need to use headers. And headers (headlines do not have periods. Every major word is capitalized. On your dashboard under “All posts” select this post to “edit.” Type something as a header. Highlight it, then click on “paragraph” for a dropdown menu of choices.
You can also turn them different colors.
• People don’t like to read long text blocks. A text block should be a paragraph with a topic sentence, supporting points, and conclusion. You can break a paragraph up into 2-3 text blocks but never combined two paragraphs (or topics) into one text block.
Each image needs a caption plus an image attribution that is hotlinked.
In the dashboard with this blogpost open to edit, click on the image. An editing pencil will appear. Click on it. You will see a place to write a caption in a lox. A little further down is a place to select to make the image larger using a dropdown. Save.
• You need to hotlink anything that goes out to another website, especially the page you are referencing. First of all, copy the URL you want to hotlink. Again in the editing panel of your post, highlight the words you want to link. In the toolbar, choose the linked chain icon. A box will open. Paste in the link. Choose “open in a different tab or page” and close or save. Do that for anything else that might need it.
Make sure to proofread carefully or ask someone to do it for you. It is okay for you to write “with an accent.” But in English, we don’t say “give sight to the blinds,” for example. An ESL tutor or regular writing tutor can help.
The things you say and how you say them are fun, clear, and good. Now, think about page design and presentation 🙂
In this recent blog post, http://jensens.edublogs.org/2016/04/23/does-blogging-have-anything-to-do-with-age/
I try to show students all the different ways of doing that–using bulleted points, headers, colors, pull quotes, and so on.
You have seven days to dive into a revision and to have some fun.
Sandy 🙂