Hi, everyone! I’m Jongwoo Won. I’ll go by J. I came to the U.S., from South Korea, in march, 2015, right after graduate high school by alone. I’ve never traveled outside of Oregon. However, in this summer I’ll travel somewhere in the U.S., with my family, who live in Korea. I like to listen music. Especially, I love Radiohead and Sigur Rós. I also like to play bass.
When I came to the U.S., I made the project, which name is “J project.” This project is about making J, me, as a person who I dreamed when I was in middle school. Of course, still I’m working on this project, and for the success in this project I am making every effort to success the project. Currently, I’m fresh man, and my major is Mechanical engineering at lane. However, I am considering about changing my Major in 4-year school to Neuroengineering. I want to get Ph.D in the U.S. I definitely need to learn technical writing since in the future, I must need to write tons of paper. Furthermore, English is my second language, so I struggle with sentence structures, words, and grammars. This class must be helpful to me to make a step in the project.
Nice to meet you class!
Hi,J. My name is Ryu. I am from Japan. We have in common that English is our second language and I am very interested in Neuro-Engineering. When you talk about the J project, I am curious what you are doing though. And I believe that it’s good to have some projects outside of the school. Anyway, it’s nice to see you and I hope you enjoy the term. Ryu
Thanks for replying Ryu.
Actually, J project doesn’t have detail schedule.
When I was in the high school, I made a bucket list from trivial things, such as going travel with friends, to huge things like getting Ph. D.
What I am doing is reading and doing that list.
I am also glad to meet you, and hope you get awesome spring term.
Hey Jongwoo!
Sounds like you’ve had a great adventure since high school. Moving across the globe all by yourself take a lot of courage! That’s super awesome. How have you been dealing with being homesick? How have your created a sense of community since you’ve been here? Radiohead is super chill. I like the song “Karma Police”. There’s simply nothings like 90’s alternative rock.
I really like your “J project”. It’s inspirational. I think that is the most important thing to accomplish in your twenties, manifesting your best self. It takes a clear mind to really see who you want to be and how to get there. I take it that you have a lot of brain power considering that you want to study Neuroengineering. You’ll definietly need some technical writing skills for that.
Also, I like your doodled “J” for your picture. It’s very unique.
Thanks for posting!
Nice to meet you!
I’m sorry but can I know your name..? I want to know your name.
I didn’t have homesick. May be because my church members take care of me a lot.
I also love Karma Police!! Actually, this song made me fan of radio head.
Thanks for saying that you like that picture!
Again, I am really glad to meet you!
Hi J,
I like your first post a lot. I think it will be a very good experience to learn in another country for you. I have always wanted to travel out of the United States and experience other cultures.
I enjoy some Radiohead songs as well! That is neat that you play the bass, I really appreciate that instrument and I imagine it is a joy to play!
Your grammar is amazing for English being your second language. You sound like a very talented person with great aspirations. It shows a lot about your passion to be successful by taking a technical writing class!
Looking forward to learning more about you this term!
Thanks for replying!
I hope you have abroad experience in the future. I think it’s worth to experience even though it is pretty overwhelming because of the cultural differences.
I appreciate that you appreciating bass since when I play bass, a lot of friends ask me about my role.
I hope you have nice weekend.
Nice to meet you Tyler!
Hi J, my name is Jamie. I liked your introductory blog it is simple yet nice. What an adventure it must be for you to have came from Korea to Oregon.It seems like you have some great goals in life and your are willing to go through all the hoops to make it there, that’s Awesome. Good luck on figuring out which direction in school you want to go. I believe you will benefit from this class either way.
Hi! Nice to meet you Jamie!
Thanks for replying and cheering me up with figuring direction in school.
Have great weekend.
Hi J,
I have to say, I admire your ambition, and your ability to go to a new country for your studies. I think you are doing a great job with your English! Your introduction blog post was very informative, and welcoming as well. It looks like am not the only one that likes your term, “J project.” I think we are all on our own journey, but I have never thought of giving it a name as you did. I think that is so clever! I hope you enjoy your time outside of Oregon with your family this summer! I look forward to your next blog post!
Hi, J!
Welcome to our class! I am very glad that you have come to the US for your PhD, and I am here to make sure you get A’s, okay?
I have feedback in two categories: blogging and writing.
BLOGGING
1. Eliminate the “sample page.” Or turn it into something functional like an “About Me” page. Otherwise, it is just web rot.
2. No blog post should be left “uncategorized.” You can go to your dashboard and find “All pages” on the left. Select the one you want to categorize and click on “edit.” Assuming you have set your “categories” as I outlined in my blogpost http://jensens.edublogs.org/2016/04/02/how-to-use-tech-talk-online-magazine/
All you have to do is click on the right category and click on “Update.”
3. Consider adding a subtitle to your blog name. From your dashboard, toward the top middle, look directly below “Choose your theme“ and click on “Customize the look of your theme.”
A panel will open on the left. Look for “Site title, tagline, and logo.”
Click on the arrow, and you can change the name of your blog if you want to, but definitely add a tagline. That is a “subtitle” and can be anything catchy from “This Titan Does Tech” to “My time to shine.” Feel free to be appropriately creative.
4. Every blog post is required to include at least one image, which you have, of course, and that image should refer to the content of your blog post; for example (see Fig. 1) and be correctly attributed. Include a source caption for every image. That information is here: http://jensens.edublogs.org/2016/03/13/how-do-i-attribute-blog-images/
The “hyperlink” image on this page is an example: http://jensens.edublogs.org/2016/04/09/how-to-hotlink-a-url/
I see you have done a “cute” image, which is fine to start; however, it also tends to sidestep the technical writing skill of learning correct attribution. You also don’t refer to it in your post, so unclear what point it is supposed to demonstrate.
WRITING–and I am aware that you are an ESL student!
1. Your page design is considered a technical writing issue. One thing I noticed is that your paragraphs are not on one topic; you have more of a “free-write” approach, which is not really appropriate for technical writing. Here is some information about writing effective paragraphs for technical writing:
http://wssa.net/wp-content/uploads/Writing-Effective-Paragraphs.pdf
2. On blogs and generally in tech writing, paragraphs are shorter because people don’t like to read a lot of text on the screen. Sentences are shorter, too, closer to 12 words per sentence.
3. I noticed lots of missing commas and capitalization errors, as well. In tech writing, you are expected to be immaculately correct even while maintaining an accessible tone of voice. Here is a video to refresh:
Learn four major comma rules. This video covers the following comma rules: 1) Using commas in a series, 2) Using commas with coordinate adjectives, 3) Using a comma with a conjunction, and 4) Using a comma after an introductory phrase. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dxcTsvkuyhs
Or you can work with a tutor–email them to talk about ESL tutoring https://www.lanecc.edu/llc/english/writing-center
Close editing is essential.
I post feedback on your blog and your grade on Moodle where you can see it by clicking on “grades.” You are welcome to revise within seven days for a higher grade. Make sure to Moodle message me when you want to to return to take a second look at your blog, okay?
I look forward to your revision!
🙂
Sandy